October 2026 Week 1

I am almost home, sitting on the Amtrak train from NYC after my flight from Delhi and processing my adventure of a lifetime. Two weeks ago, I met one of my dearest friends of over 30 years at the airport for a trip that I had dreamed of taking for 20 years.
It all started years ago during a book group reading of Eat, Pray, Love. It was then that I dreamed of going to India by myself, in silence, in an ashram. (Funny enough, on the yoga retreat part of my trip, I met another teacher who had dreamed of this too.) For the last 5 years I have been saying, maybe when I turn 60 I will go to India. However, for my 60th I had an epic celebration in CA with my 3 boys, their significant others, a nephew and his family, and this dearest friend, who was traveling to India with me and her husband.
Around this time she told me that her yoga teachers were leading a retreat in India and she was going!! My ears perked up, but I thought, no, I really want to go alone and be in an ashram in silence. After a little research with a college friend’s sister-in-law and my friend Maureen’s teachers, the ashram dream seemed like a less-than-ideal plan. Subsequently, Maureen asked her teachers if I could join the invite-only retreat with her and her friend. Hence, the planning of the journey began.
Wow, it’s a long way away from home!!!
We met at the airport for the long flight to Delhi and met up with her friend Kathy in Delhi to begin a week of touring before the retreat. We went to New Delhi, Old Delhi, Agra, the Taj Mahal and Jaipur. We decided India’s cities are all running in “organized chaos” — there are more cars and motorcycles beeping their horns than on any NYC street. Cars and motorcycles look like they are driving into each other, cows, dogs, camels, goats and monkeys share the road with these vehicles, and people are walking everywhere. We went to temples, mosques, markets on the streets and completely submerged ourselves in the culture with the assistance of the most amazing guides. We always felt safe and everyone was happy to see us. And funny enough, they all wanted to take pictures with us.
After a week of this, we arrived at a 700-year-old fort for our yoga retreat.
I arrived with “Delhi belly” — yuck! Thank goodness it only lasted 1 day and was the day between sightseeing and the yoga part of the trip.
Everyone started arriving and I found myself in a community of 40 gregarious yogis. The first week traveling with Maureen and Kathy, I was definitely processing feelings of separateness, even though Maureen is one of my oldest, closest friends. I found myself often in the “3rd wheel middle school girl” feelings lol (remembering feeling are not facts and my mind can manufacture false stories!). And then, once the retreat was starting and I was feeling terrible physically, I started doubting my decision to come all this way with a large group, many of whom were so excited to see each other and reconnect as a community.
On the day before the retreat, while I was fighting Delhi belly, I made an appointment with the Ayurvedic doctor. He was amazing and gave me some remedies for my upset stomach and for my upset mind! He held my hand and said, “Everything will fall into place.” (Yes this is our October intention haha)
Of course, that made me teary and moved me into the curiosity of trust and my intention for the month of September — what is meant for me will find me.
Thank you, God, I woke up on Day 1 of the retreat with a settled stomach, even though I still had an unsettled heart and mind.
I was outside of my comfort zone, which is a place I actually seek because I know how beneficial it is to go through challenges and discomfort. However, this was next level. I felt like an outsider and very alone, not to mention I was halfway around the world from my family. I had invested my time, energy and money into this trip, and I was upset that I was not finding the solitude I was seeking when I first wanted to go to India.
I did what I always do and I showed up.
I went to the yoga classes, I had meals with groups of people, and I jumped into the activities with the group — touring the village and shopping, going on a safari, and yes, getting henna painted on my ankle, bicep and wrist haha.
Simultaneously, from the first day I arrived, I went to the temple at the fort with the local Pandit (Indian priest) for his nightly blessing. I maintained my morning routine of meditation, prayer and journaling before breakfast and yoga. As the week progressed, I added the morning temple blessing and sunrise with the Pandit.
Day 6 of the retreat, the last day, came very quickly. I was processing all I had experienced and asking if I received what I came here for.
I woke early as usual and was on my way to the temple blessing, but instead decided to go above the temple and sit alone with my journal and prayers, watching the sunrise. I dropped into such gratitude for all I had experienced so far: the people I met in the retreat, time with Maureen and her community, the teachers leading us, the culture and the people of India, and their devotion to their faith and rituals.
I then met a small group for a walk to another temple, which took 700 steps to reach. Once again, I was overwhelmed with their level of devotion to their Gods and the rituals that go along with their faith, including a flame that has been burning continuously for 400 years.
On the walk down, we witnessed 2 Indians showing their gratitude for something they had manifested at this temple that came to fruition. Their act of gratitude was to lay across the steps vertically with a coconut offering in their hands, then stand up and stretch the coconut further up the steps. They did this for all 700 steps.
I had a conversation with our guide about our faith and how it is all the same — we are trying to find comfort and peace on the inside by trusting in devotion to the God of our understanding outside of us.
I then went to the final class, and for the first 20 minutes or so I cried. It was tears of emotional release as well as gratitude that, as Dr. Shree said, “Everything will fall into place.”
One of the teachers, Colleen, spoke of the place of equanimity that yoga offers us, where there is no push and pull.
I realized I did receive what I came here for.
I had beautiful moments of solitude and connection with myself regardless of whether others were gathering or not. With emotional maturity lol, I stepped away when I wanted to and filled my cup with prayer, introspection and solitude.
I also had the added benefit of this amazing Yoga Shanti community, with laughter, connective conversation and, of course, dancing! And the connection with the doctor, the Pandit and all the local people smiling, waving and taking selfies filled me up beyond measure.
This part I did not expect and was not seeking, but by showing up with a nonjudgmental mind, it all truly fell into place.
Midway through the week I had a crazy moment. Before dinner I met some others at the pool. This was a very close-knit group who were so excited to reconnect as they live in separate areas of the country. I took some pictures and then wandered up the stairs to the far end of the fort. There I could see the village lights below and hear the prayers and chants from the local temple and mosque. It was beautiful and comfortable. I stood in this open-air hallway, and it was such a reflection of where I was in the process of the retreat. I was in the hallway of being pulled to the solitude and the prayers on one side and the laughter and connection on the other. Neither side was better than the other. It was just different. In that moment I felt comfortable being pulled to the solitude and not having to be “a part of.”
This is a big lesson for me and often the cause of my discomfort and extra efforting as I sorted through what was true to me. Where do I want to be, regardless of what others are doing or how I will feel judged? I realized I didn't need to prove that I belonged or figure out whether the story was true — I simply needed to keep showing up, stay open and trust that everything would fall into place. This comfort is what I have been seeking all my life, the comfort of being connected to Karen regardless of what is happening around me.

I came to India seeking solitude. What I didn't realize was that I could find the solitude I was seeking without separating myself from the experience around me. By showing up with an open mind, I was able to receive all of it — the deep faith and rituals of the Indian culture, the joy and energy of the village, the connection and laughter of the other yogis, the beautiful teachings of our leaders, the time with Maureen and her community, and the unexpected connections with the Pandit, the Ayurvedic doctor and so many local people.
And alongside all of that, I found the quiet moments I had been seeking all along. I found them sitting above the temple watching the sunrise. I found them in prayer and meditation in the early morning. I found them listening to the chants and prayers drifting up from the village. I found them in the moments when I simply stepped away, filled my cup and reconnected with myself. I didn't have to choose. I could be part of the community and still belong to myself. I could laugh and dance and shop and take selfies and get henna, and I could also sit alone in silence and pray. I could be surrounded by people and still find solitude.
Maybe this is the comfort I have been seeking all my life — not the absence of other people, but the comfort of being fully connected to myself regardless of what is happening around me.

Yoga is a practice, and I always say that on our mats we are uniquely expressing our poses in ways that are authentic to our own bodies and what we can do. This translates off the mat to being comfortable expressing life in a way that is authentic to each of us, regardless of what others are doing. This may seem small and silly, but this experience was a practice that I am so proud of. I unapologetically did Karen, I showed up for the whole experience and I put in the effort to assure that I did not leave India without the connection to myself that I was seeking.
The community was there for me. The yoga was also there for me. And the culture of India was there for me. And on that last morning, I realized all along it was up to me to take the time for my connection with myself and I am grateful that I did just that. Further, I uncovered I don't have to choose between solitude and connection. I can choose what is authentic to me in each moment.
On my final morning, I again watched the sunrise in prayer and then said goodbye to the Pandit. He blessed a necklace and gave it to me, then put his hand on my head and said, “God bless, be happy.”
I didn't leave India with the exact experience I thought I was coming for. I left with something better — the realization that I could find what I was seeking while remaining open to everything else that was meant for me.

I hope I can take this comfortable connection with myself back to my life with me, because this trip and this experience was all I hoped for and more.
Everything fell into place.